Self-inflicted.

Oh Katy Perry is such a beast. I love her songs.

Annnd when I listened to her song called Self-Inflicted, I really started to think about some past people who've come and gone, and I won't lie and say that I miss them.

They know who they are.

I'm just struggling because it's so hard to move on from something you want so badly, so close you can even taste it, but yet it's still out of reach.

Like two hours out of reach.

And then there are all these temptations to lead you down a darker road... and I'm just a mess right now. If I really wanted to, I could be seen as something I'm not, and live in the moment... but I can't because I know that I'm smarter than that.

And what happens when a new boy gets throw into the mix with all of my recollections of an ex? Nothing good. At all.

I miss him a lot. More than he knows. More than I know, but I'll never admit. I can't admit it, because I have to be strong. I refuse to be a pushover, and I refuse to be someone who is easy.

No thank you.

Oh goodness.

C.J.